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Can I sell my kids for Pesach?

Can I sell my kids for Pesach?
I'm pretty frustrated with my daughters right now.
For the past few days/weeks the older one has been stubbornly ignoring anything and everything that I ask her to do. This morning it took her over an hour to get dressed and out the door for her super-expensive kaitana.The previous evening she whined and complained that she did not even want to go to the kaitana for the last day. My younger daughter has been waking up and coming home in a pissey mood for way too long. And she refuses to eat anything but bowls of cereal for dinner (Not during  dinnertime, mind you, but only after her bedtime).
So I was thinking - with Pesach being the holiday of freedom, and all - that I deserve a little break from these kids; that I could really go for a week off (note: my wife probably deserves this break more than me).
And then I got to thinking: if I can sell my chametz for the duration of the holiday, perhaps I can do the same with my kids.
I've created some practical guidelines for how this would look:
1. Meet with your local rabbi (or go online to a site like this one) to arrange for the selling of kids for the duration of Pesach.
2. A few days before Pesach sort through your children's art projects. Then burn them.
3. A day before Pesach, diligently wash and clean kids.
4. A few hours before Pesach, lock kids in their room (or a closet, if you have limited space).
5. Place a large sign on the door of the room (or closet) as a reminder not to enter the room throughout the duration of the holiday.
6. Enjoy the holiday.
7. A few hours after the holiday, retake official possession of children.
Warning! The person who buys your kids for Pesach actually has legal ownership of them and may decide to keep them beyond the holiday time-frame.
Chag Kasher V'SAMEACH!

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